Ask Sharie: My elderly mother is a big challenge for me. How can I move past the drama and anger and replay of disfunction?

 

SHARIE CAMREN

“Sharie,

I sometimes help take care of my mother, who needs help with daily tasks as her health is a challenge, fighting cancer. However, she is intermittently very angry and overall difficult to get along with, yelling and blaming and uncooperative. I feel caught in a vicious cycle when relating to her. I am angry too, and bitter, it is so difficult to take her fits and harsh words. How can I move past this? – J.M.”

 

Dear J. M.,

With open eyes, soften your gaze, as if to cross your eyes slightly, and look out just in front of you. Focus on your exhale, noticing your breath, only, as best you can, for a few minutes. Choose to be present for yourself within, and blow out all outer influences. Then, if you can, I recommend doing Wayne Cook’s posture, and other energy medicine routines for stress, as offered in Eden Energy Medicine videos free online.

Once you do the above meditation and energy medicines for yourself, then do again while thinking of your mother. Breathe and notice your bodily feelings as you visualize her, and consciously choose to be present for your thoughts and feelings, while attaching to none – just keep breathing. Invite yourself to expand and be bigger than all the thoughts and feelings.

Notice how she looks to you in your imagination. When you are ready, speak to her within, and do so as if you had an infinite well of compassion inside to offer, to both her and to yourself. Imagine the conversation going JUST the way you would most like it to go. Take as much time as needed to get this going in the direction that feels good.

If you are determined to be true to your spirit, you need not use anger to protect yourself, this is an imbalance in the energies.

Spend a little time each day for three days actively choosing how you want each interaction to go when you relate to her. Relax and allow the truth of your invincibility to surface as you relate to her in spirit, in your imagination, in conversation.

Trust that you create peaceful interactions and realign with yourself if you honor a balanced choreography of energy, so to speak. This is when you: determine with your spirit, give with the tenderness of your emotions, receive with your mind, and hold and transform with your body. Loving kindness can prevail inside, and out.

I am happy to help more specifically, and deeper, with sessions by phone if you like.

Let me know how it goes!

Sharie

 

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